2019 Horoscopes: What The New Year Has In Store Betches

We made it, betches. We actually survived the year 2018…but wait a second. WTF was that? Is it just me, or did this year feel like at least three to four years combined? IDK about you, but this was definitely the longest year in history, and not to sound like a broken record, but I totally blame Jupiter in Scorpio’s phoenix-like ways for 2018’s insanity. Release. Rebirth. Repeat. Sound familiar? Granted, we also experienced back-to-back eclipses, and what seemed like never-ending retrograde cycles, but here we are, new and improved. Not to sound cliche, but the best is yet to come. Read your 2019 horoscopes to find out what the new year has in store for your sign.

Aries

Good news first? You got this, betch. Your red-hot ruling planet Mars will be direct all year, so you will have all the energy you need to get things done, and hold down the fort. Coquettish Venus will also be moving at her usual pace, so you’ll definitely see a burst of luck in your love life, as well as in your finances this year. Furthermore, the 2019 eclipses will shake up your home and professional life, so stay focused on your mission, Aries. P.S. For those of you who want to publish your work, this is your moment to shine.

Taurus

This will be a year of radical changes. Luckily for you, your ruling planet Venus will be direct all year, so no more #ThankUnext vibes. In addition to that, some of you will start making more money and finally find the comfort you’ve so desperately been seeking. Fact is, you will be venturing into unknown territory this year, whether you like it or not, so I suggest you start mentally preparing yourselves. Last but not least, the eclipses will affect your immediate environment and personal philosophy. There’s a new you on the horizon, betch.

Gemini

All about the facts? Not so much. This will be a year of far-reaching changes, and intense rebirth. Surrender; don’t think about it so much. Try to detach from needing to see to believe, and start tapping into your intuition. There’s something much greater than logic, and beyond the ballroom of your mercurial mind. You will make positive connections this year, and for those of you who are afraid of committing, grow the f*ck up. Relationship themes will be top of mind, and you’re ready to meet your soul mate. In Kim Kardashian’s words, “let’s focus.”

Cancer

Enough is enough, betch, It’s called setting boundaries, and this is the year where you do exactly that. Learn to draw the line in your personal life, and with people in general. Moreover, your family, home, and security will be top of mind throughout 2019, and there will be opportunities to improve your health, and day-to-day routine. Yogalates? Grab your FitBit. This will be the year you start doing the things you love. Be selfish, Cancer. Your relationships will be tested, and this is the year where they’ll either make it or break it. Who will make the cut?

Leo

Take care of yourself, betch. This will be a year for tending to your physical, emotional, and spiritual health. Is your current routine in line with your life mission? Your creativity and individual expression will be highlighted throughout 2019. Although, don’t get too comfortable, because you’re about to go through big changes in regards to your day-to-day responsibilities and routine in general. Meditate. Do yoga. Find a way to listen to your body. Be gentle with yourself, Leo.

Virgo

Express yourself, don’t repress yourself. Madonna said that, and I totally believe that she’s a Virgo rising. Anyway, 2019 will be a year of individual expression and passion for you, so tapping into your inner child is inevitable, betch. That’s not to say that you don’t know how to have fun, but you tend to second-guess everything in hopes of being practical. You know it’s true. Although, speaking of inner child, the eclipses will shake up your fifth house of passion and fertility, as well as your friendship zone, and extended network. Yes, betch. Hate to break it to you, but getting up the spout is totally possible for some Virgos. #JustSaying

Libra

Make a decision, betch. Do you want to be a housewife, or a top-level executive? Honestly, what are you even stressing about? Who says you can’t be both? It’s 2019, and this will be a year of career growth for sure, but there will also be changes in your home life nonetheless. Pat yourself on the back for being more vocal and communicative, but you will also be connecting with your local community this year. In fact, your Instagram will be poppin’, and it’s about time you share your charms with the rest of the world. Have fun with it, Libra.

Scorpio

Cha-ching! This will be a year of financial breakthroughs, Scorpio. In other words, don’t be afraid to get that shmoney you and I both know you deserve. Granted, people in your immediate circle will say you’ve changed, but the truth of the matter is, you’re finally owning your self worth, and it’s about damn time. Everything you busted your ass working on last year is finally coming to fruition in 2019. However, in the midst of this cosmic high, try not to overwork yourself either. Stressing is no bueno.

Sagittarius

Listen up, Sag betch: you’re basically the celestial fave this year, considering your ruling planet Jupiter is back in your sign, blessing you with cosmic treats from the heavens. Opportunities await, but in the midst of happy-go-lucky adventure, you will experience deep changes in regards to your values and finances. Oh, and do yourself a favor. Forgive and forget. You can’t change the past, and trust me when I say, the past sure as hell can’t compare to the present. Capeesh? The eclipses will teach you a thing or two about your values, too.

Capricorn

Breathe, betch. I guarantee you that there’s hope at the end of this Saturn tunnel. However, we can’t deny the facts, and you are in the midst of really powerful transformation. It’s simple: the cosmos are rebuilding you from the ground up, and change is inevitable. Also, I know you’re not the “go with the flow” type, but that’s exactly what you’re going to learn to do this year. Hate to burst your CEO bubbles, but you’re not always going to be in control. Be authentic with yourself, and with others. Your relationships will also be tested.

Aquarius

Have you seen the movie Vicky Cristina Barcelona? The reason I ask is because Cristina, aka Scarlett Johansson, has absolutely no idea what she wants, but she knows what she doesn’t want. Sound familiar? Yes, the year 2019 will consist of intense soul searching indeed, so embrace your solitude. Also, I know you much rather be logical than spiritual, but there’s no denying that you will experience a few That’s So Raven moments, and get sudden bursts of intuitive insight. Pay attention, betch. The universe is speaking to you.

Pisces

I see you, betch. There’s a rebel Pisces that lives within you, and guess what? It’s time to unleash the beast. Your true colors are shining through this year, and it’s time you tap into what makes you unique. No new friends? Nah, that was 2018. This year, on the other hand, will bring luck and opportunity to both your professional life, and your social sector. That’s right, Pisces. It’s time to mingle, and get out there. There’s nothing wrong with being yourself, obvi. Besides, who wouldn’t want a mystical confidant in their life?

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