Here’s where it gets clever: Watson assembled two flat-pack crates he had been keeping in the lining with him, then hid the money (and himself) inside them. The plan was for baggage handlers to unload the crates, which would be delivered to Watson’s accomplices. They would be long gone by the time the real money container reached its destination and was revealed to be empty, leaving its intended recipient to let out a Vaderian “Noooo!”
But, as always, something went wrong: Some clumsy baggage handlers at Heathrow dropped Watson’s crate, which promptly broke apart, revealing Watson … and millions of pesetas. The thief scrambled to his feet and ran for it, although he found time to politely assure the startled handlers, “Don’t worry about me, I’ll be alright.” In the carefree days before 9/11, he was able to make it out of the airport. He was only caught three years later, when the police arrested him for drunk driving and found that his DNA was a match for some blood left in the ruins of his crate. There’s a lesson here, kids: Don’t drink and drive.
The Million-Dollar Fajita Black Market Was Foiled By A Single Sick Day
In 2017, Gilberto Escamilla was arrested for stealing fajitas from work. It happens to the best of us. But Escamilla wasn’t some disgruntled busboy sticking it to Applebee’s one beefy tortilla at a time. He was a civil servant who snaked a truly staggering $1.2 million in fajitas from the Juvenile Justice Department in Cameron County, Texas. And the best part? The Cameron County Juvenile Justice Department didn’t even serve fajitas.
How did Escamilla pull off such a daring scheme? A special fajita tunnel? Condoms and a spice-proof rectum? Actually, he used his job with the department to order the fajitas, which were delivered to his facility. He would then accept the delivery and take them straight back out to his prearranged customers, all of them presumably unaware they were about to serve up illegal meat.
Cameron County DAIt seems that in Cameron County, lunch delivery from the local prison is business as usual.
He kept this up for nine years, which is a long time for the government to pay for illicit black market fajitas — which, again, were seriously a thing. But the Tex-Mex bandit finally slipped up when he decided to take a sick day to go to a doctor. Of course one of his secret deliveries just had to show up that day. Escamilla’s confused co-workers insisted that nobody had ordered 800 pounds of fajita packets for a jail with fewer than 100 inmates, and the equally confused driver insisted that he had been delivering fajitas to that address for nine years. The one thing everyone could agree on was this was a very weird point for alternate universes to intersect.
After contemplating the nature of parallel dimensions for a while, the Juvenile Justice Department realized that either Escamilla had a really serious eating disorder, or something shady was going on. After the cops searched his house and found fajitas in the fridge (a suspicious and delicious discovery), Escamilla was arrested on charges of grand theft. Hopefully his prison ordered fajitas in his honor.
The Carder Kingpin Who Was Caught Because Of Half-Life 2
Max Butler, a hacker known as “Iceman,” ran the biggest credit card theft ring ever. He unified many of the underground carder forums and markets in the world. Butler had it all going for him: military-grade encryption, a brilliant mind, and associates laundering the constant, massive stream of money they were making. But he was done with all that. Max was ready to retire and live a simple life with his girlfriend, a woman presumably unaware that she was sleeping with a person who called himself “Iceman.”
Santa Clara County SheriffWere guessing this Iceman engaged in a lot less shirtless volleyball than his namesake.
But there was a glitch. Jonathan Giannone, a 21-year-old who had worked with Butler, was caught in 2006 for selling card dumps. After he was found guilty, Giannone spilled the beans on Iceman. His undoing turned out to be a private conversation with Giannone in which the master hacker told the young man about a time he had been a suspect in an investigation about the hacking of the source code of Half-Life 2. Only two people from the U.S. popped up when searching the incident on the FBI’s database. Max Butler was one. The rest played out like the end of The Wolf Of Wall Street, except instead of a few months playing tennis, Butler was sentenced to 13 years in federal prison.
1 and 3.
1 x 3 = 3.
Half-Life 3 confirmed.
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