Do The Kardashians Drink? An Investigation Betches
It’s a momentous day in Kardashian-Jenner history. Kylie Jenner, creator of lip kits and center of the self-made billionaire controversy, is finally 21 years old. Happy birthday! I’ll be honest, last week when I got the assignment to write this story, I was in disbelief that Kylie wasn’t 21 yet. Like, I knew she was young, but considering that she’s already bought houses and starred in TV shows and launched an empire and had a baby and gotten lip fillers and then had them removed, it’s pretty shocking that she’s just old enough to legally drink as of today. With Kylie finally being old enough to order a glass of wine at dinner, it got me thinking—do the Kardashians drink? For the most part, they’ve avoided any sort of reputation as big partiers, but this question warrants a little bit of a deep dive.
Okay, this is probably the easiest one to figure out. In 2016, KoKo hosted her own talkshow that was literally called Kocktails with Khloé. If it wasn’t clear, the entire premise of the show revolved around Khloé getting drunk with her celebrity guests, so it’s safe to say that she enjoys an adult beverage. The show was canceled after just eight episodes, but while she was promoting it, Khloé gave Us Weekly an interview with a lot of helpful info about her family’s drinking habits.
Khloé likes shots, which makes a lot of sense. “Like, I don’t care to just have a glass of wine. No, I want to get f*cking buzzed or drunk. That’s the point…It’s like, I’m normally good, but when I’m ready, I’m going to drink my vodka or shots. I’m going to drink.” My favorite part of the interview is when Khloé says about her and her sisters “We’ve never had problems or rehab stints or this or that.” Um, that’s great, but isn’t she forgetting about the time she literally went to jail because of a DUI? Pretty sure that was documented on a hit television show, but who am I, a fact checker?
Kim Kardashian does not drink. Wow, am I doing something wrong in my life? In that interview, Khloé said that “Kimberly does not drink alcohol whatsoever. Pregnant or not, she’s just never been into it.” Okay, first, I LOVE when they call her Kimberly. I have no idea why, it just makes me happy. This story gets even better. Last year, Kim went on Watch What Happens Live! and shared the crazy story of why she doesn’t really drink. Apparently, when she was literally 14 years old, her dad taught her to drive so she could be Kourtney’s designated driver and go to parties with her. Um, WHAT? “I felt this responsibility of driving everyone. And everyone would take advantage of me, and I would be the designated driver. And they would literally only have me hang out just to drive everyone home.” Okay, so it is definitely illegal for a 14-year-old to drive a car, and Kim’s dad was literally a lawyer! I am so, so confused by this story, but I guess it’s great that Kourtney wasn’t driving drunk? This family is wild.
As you could guess from that iconic designated driver story, Kourtney isn’t afraid to have a good time. Khloé said that Kourtney partied in college and still enjoyed drinking up until when she had kids. Khloé says that Kourt basically doesn’t drink anymore since having kids (and becoming a low-key health freak), “but during Christmas Eve when we’re having a party, she still has, like, a glass of champagne.” Okay, if I ever have kids, please force tequila shots into my hand, because I refuse to become this boring.
Unsurprisingly, Kris Jenner has the drinking habits that sound the most appealing to me. What can I say, I’m basically a grandma. Kris drinks a glass of wine every single night, which is like, very good for your health. In 2016, she said in an interview “I like to have a glass of wine at 6. What 60-year-old woman wouldn’t?” What did we do to deserve Kris Jenner? I’m not sure, but she is my idol.
Kendall & Kylie
When Khloé gave this interview two years ago, Kendall and Kylie were just 20 and 18, respectively. That’s below the legal drinking age, but when has that ever stopped anyone? At the time, Khloé said that Kendall and Kylie were not into drinking, specifically saying that Kendall is “really focused and determined.” Yeah, because a glass of wine really ruins your determination in life? Whatever.
For what it’s worth, about a year ago, Kylie told BuzzFeed in an interview that she had literally never had a sip of alcohol in her life. She actually specifically said she’s excited for her 21st birthday because she’s never tried it. “I feel like that’s fun. You know, I’ve never had a drink before so I just wanna know what it’s like.” Okay, wow. Good for her I guess, but if I were a literal billionaire I would probably be wasted on Dom Perignon at all times. I guess this year she’ll be, like, realizing stuff about mixing liquors and drinking on an empty stomach. Mazel!
Happy birthday Kylie, you’ve come a long way from that 9-year-old pole dancing at your mom’s party. Enjoy your (literal) first sip of alcohol! Please report back on your experiences, and let us know when you have your first hangover. It’s all downhill from here.
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